Where in the mind!
“Why me of all!”, “This always happens to me! What have I done, that I’m going through all this!” These are some of the statements that you might have made to yourself or heard someone rant about their troubles and tortures on and on. Seeking answers, dependence on a third person increases. It just creates self-doubt if you are really ready to put up with the challenge before you?
What is happening?
So what exactly is missing here? Life does not give you things that you can’t handle. Have you ever thought of self-love? Have you ever thought that without loving yourself, loving another is way too complicated for your mind to take in? Ah, now don’t quote the line just mentioned above!
Self-love is the happiness you give to yourself, it is that care that you shower upon yourself, it is that unconditional service that you render upon yourself. It is a practice, the becoming of a habit, it is self-discipline. Why? Simply because no one knows you better than yourself. No matter how much you try explaining your mind to another, they may not get. Sometimes you may not know either. But these simple elements of self-love to self-discipline would help you out.
You can read for yourself these wonderful people quote about self-love for yourself!
“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.” - Robert Morley
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” - Oscar Wilde
“Mirror is my best friend, because when I cry, it never laughs.” - Charlie Chaplin
How does this work?
1. Self-talk: you’ll sound crazy and weird, but hey! Self-talk does help you. All you have to do is stand/sit down before a mirror and talk to yourself, just like you are telling a piece of exciting news or sharing your grief to your near and dear one. When you have the latter, why the former? At times, despite all the closeness, you might still feel alone in a crowd. But that voice in your head is always by your side. Self-talk gives that connection to your voice in your mind.
2. Self-affirmations: saying these four statements of, “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you!”, works wonders. Affirmations like “Yes, you can do it! You are strong and brave to do it!”, pumps up that fire in your belly! The mind is such a wonderful object that it responds to what you tell it and what you feel. So get up to these positive self-affirmations and see the gush of positive energy bring a smile onto you every moment!
3. Journal for self: every feeling you experience are emotions that you own. What happens outside, isn’t in your control. But how you respond to it, definitely is. What if you record your response? Give it a shot. Going old school with a pen and paper, or a digital journal will help you become aware of what you are going through. While writing, if you feel like crying, cry off; self-talk, and continue writing. Write as much as you want to. When you get back some time in the future, you would definitely feel good about yourself. (Hopefully, it is a proud feeling! Even if embarrassing, just embrace yourself, you’ll love it even more!)
4. Self-image: you are what you tell yourself. Accept yourself for who you are. Make yourself aware and accept the problem and the probable solution you would want to work upon. Repeat your positive affirmations to yourself. Behave the way you have imagined yourself to be. Start acting upon that image of yourself that you built. Even if you are unclear, it is okay. Start afresh. Re-work on where you lag, identify where, and what you can learn. Re-build that image of yours, for your-self with all the learnings and lessons you have in store with you!
5. Self-discipline: doing most of the above, will help you understand what self-love is. But practicing it diligently, dedicating that bit of time for yourself to reflect upon your actions, your doings, and making a note of them. All these small activities show the respect you are giving to your commitment and will get you a step closer to self-discipline. This element also enhances your self-respect and boosts your self-confidence! Looking at that organized life of yours, you’ll slowly become an inspiring legend to a lot of them, but most importantly, to yourself!
Self-distance: giving advice to another person means, you will jump into every possible solution to work. Isn’t that true? Now, why don’t you picture yourself as a third person, address yourself by your name, discuss like a dear friend to yourself, or maybe even professionally. That would give you a better and holistic approach. This is ideally called the ‘third person shift’. Creating a visual distance would help you look into those elements that you wouldn’t have thought about.
Conclusion - Letter to Self, Love
Poetry is something that you must give it a shot. Well, in conclusion, here is a small poem for you for reading all the way down! (If you have just scrolled down, post-reading this piece, go back up and re-read! ;))
The tears will turn into a smile.
It’ll just take a while…
If you feel lost there,
Just remember to get back here…
Because I have your back.
No matter how much you feel attacked...
To you, I write with all the love and pride,
For I know that through and through you shall strive and thrive!
Oh yes! You still have that spark in you,
For I trust and have faith in you…
Get up! And talk to yourself!
That is where you will find yourself…
Give that happiness to yourself,
Shower that unconditional care upon yourself!
All it takes is that small step of self-discipline
To keep your mind and heart clean!
You know yourself the best, you know the best for you…
For all you have to do first, is to love yourself, to just be you!
-Love from the positive store!